I want to talk about my experience with care for elderly at home. Caring for my mom has been a significant part of my life for the past few years. I have learned so much from this experience. Here are 5 things I have learned about senior home care.

My mom could no longer take care of herself. My siblings and I stayed up many nights talking about what to do. We had to decide if we should put her in a nursing home or try to take care of her ourselves. In the end, we decided to bring my mom home with us.

It has been really tough at times. I am not going to pretend like it has been easy. But when I think about it, I know that bringing my mom home was the right thing to do.

I really had no idea what I was doing when I started. Care of elderly people is not something you can figure out in one day. I tried things, and I made mistakes. I got a lot of help from doctors and therapists, and other carers for elderly who have been doing this for a long time.

Now I know some things that actually work. Here is what has helped us.

Making the House Safe for Senior Home Care

I thought our house was okay. It seemed safe to me. That was not true.

After my mom almost fell because of a rug in the hallway, I began to look at things the way my mom does. Our house was not as safe as I thought it was for care for elderly at home.

I walk through the house like I am her. What things might trip her up? What could confuse her?

Those pretty rugs on the floor? I got rid of them. The soft and cozy lighting that we had? I changed it to brighter light bulbs. I also put in nightlights so she can see where she is going if she gets up in the middle of the night.

The bathroom was really the hardest part. We installed grab bars near the toilet and in the shower. Not those ugly metal grab bars. The kind that looks nice in a home. We also put non-slip mats in places where water could spill.

These were small changes, but they made the bathroom a safer place. I also started keeping her things like her glasses and her knitting, and the remote within arm’s reach. This is simple stuff, but it makes her day a lot smoother.

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Following a Schedule is Important for Care of Elderly People

Before my mom moved in, I did not really have a schedule. I would have dinner at any time, and I would sleep at any time. It really did not matter.

My mom was worried because she did not have a routine. She would always ask me when we were going to have meals, when she should take her pills, and what we were going to do.

My mom’s doctor told me that having routines makes a big difference in senior home care, especially as my mom’s memory starts to fade.

So I made a routine. We wake up at the same time every single day. We have breakfast at 8:30. Mom takes her morning medicine with a cup of coffee. Every day, we plan to do one thing in the middle of the morning. This could be a walk or working on a puzzle.

Then we have lunch. After lunch, Mom takes a rest. We have dinner at six o’clock. After dinner we watch television. Bedtime is ten o’clock every night.

It is not strict. If mom is tired or we have a doctor’s appointment, we just adjust. But having a basic plan makes things calmer for both of us.

Keeping Up with Health Stuff in Care for Elderly at Home

This part was really tough for me. My mom has to take six medicines, and that is a lot to keep track of. Some of the medicines she has to take twice a day. Some of them she has to take one time a day. One of them she has to take every other day.

Then there are all the appointments she has to go to and the blood pressure checks she has to get. The medicines and appointments were really overwhelming at times.

What really helped me is this pill organizer thing. It has boxes for each day and the time I need to give the pills. I do this every Sunday night. I fill the pill organizer for the week. It only takes fifteen minutes, but it really keeps things on track.

I also keep a notebook by my mom’s chair. If mom skips lunch or seems tired or her blood pressure is up, I write it down in the notebook.

It may sound boring to some people. But when we are at the doctor’s, those notes in the notebook are really helpful. I do not have to guess what happened or try to remember.

Battling the Loneliness in Senior Home Care

This part really hurts. My mom was always very social. She played bridge, went to church, and had coffee with her friends.

Now it is harder for my mom to get out and do things. Some of her friendships have just faded away. I work full-time time so I do not think it is a good idea for my mother to be alone all the time.

So we had to think of something.

My mother’s friend Sarah calls her a couple of times a week. My mother is really happy when she talks to Sarah. My kids talk to her on the computer, and my mother loves that.

We found a senior day program that my mother can go to twice a week. In this program, my mother does fun things like making crafts and talking to people. When she comes home, she is in a great mood. My mother really likes this program.

She also likes to keep her mind busy. She does things like word searches and watches Jeopardy, shouting out the answers. On weekends, I get out the photo albums, and we talk about the past.

The photo albums make her happy. She really lights up when she shares stories from her childhood.

The Toughest Lesson About Care of Elderly People: I Cannot Do This Alone

Honestly, about six months in, I hit a wall. I was wiped out, cranky, and barely sleeping. I snapped at mom over something tiny. She looked hurt, and I felt horrible.

That night, I realized I was exhausted. Not just tired but exhausted in my bones. I had not been to the gym in months. I had canceled plans with friends so many times that they stopped inviting me.

My sister started coming over two evenings a week. Just having those few hours to leave the house made a huge difference. I could go to the gym, meet a friend for coffee, or just sit quietly.

We also hired carers for elderly who come three mornings a week. They help mom with bathing and getting dressed. These tasks were physically hard for me and awkward for both of us. Having someone else do it took a lot of pressure off.

I joined an online support group for people caring for the elderly at home. It has been amazing. These people understand. They get the guilt and the frustration. Nobody judges you there for having a bad day.

The hardest part was asking for help. I kept thinking I should be able to handle it myself. She is my mom. This is my responsibility.

But if I fall apart, I cannot help Mom at all. Taking care of myself is not selfish. It is necessary for senior home care.

You cannot do this alone. And asking for help is not failing. It is surviving.

What I Would Tell Someone Starting Care for Elderly at Home

If you are just beginning to take care of an aging parent, I want you to know that what you are doing matters. Senior home care is hard. Some days are really hard.

But there is also something beautiful about being there for someone who was there for you.

You are going to make mistakes. I still do. You are going to have days where you are frustrated or sad or just tired. That is normal.

Do not be afraid to change things. What works today might not work next month, and that is okay. Talk to your loved one. Listen to their needs. Do not be too proud to call the doctor or ask for help.

And remember, you are not just keeping your loved one alive. You are giving them dignity and comfort. You are giving them the gift of staying in a place with memories and love.

This journey is not what I expected. But I would not trade it. I am getting to know my mom in new ways. I am learning that love shows up in the smallest moments. A shared laugh over a silly TV show. Holding her hand during a difficult doctor visit. Just sitting together in comfortable silence.

Care of elderly people is hard work, but it is also rewarding work. On the days when you feel like you do not have it figured out, remember that tomorrow is a fresh start.